It's Psychosomatic

Personal experience of how a world can fall apart due to mental illness.

I saw a neuropsychiatrist this Friday 13th. Despite the date, I liked him and I think he is the best doctor I have seen. Right off that bat, he told me that he had read my file and that what I am suffering from seemed entirely clear to him but that it was still always good to hear the story from the horse’s mouth.

However, I couldn’t seem to get the story out. I kept starting and stopping and saying that I didn’t know where to start. I really couldn’t figure it out. I was in a new department with a new kind of professional. I wasn’t sure exactly why I was referred there and to him. I didn’t know what he had read in my file. I didn’t know what he was expecting me to say. I started. I stopped. I couldn’t. He said, “Are you generally unable to see the wood for the trees?” I asked what he meant. He said that, as it obviously wasn’t my level of education that left me unable to articulate the story, was it not being able to see the wood for the trees? I agreed that I suppose I am sometimes prone to that. He noted it down. 

He prompted me with some questions, which helped. Much of it was the usual screening but some of it was surprising. For example, “what are the three “symptoms” that you most wish you could change?” had me completely stumped. I went for, getting stuck on things, getting frustrated and missing what’s going on. They aren’t my three worst “symptoms” by a long shot (if they are symptoms of anything at all besides being human) but that was the best I could come up with on the spot. That was what had bugged me the previous day.

To be continued…

1 year ago
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